How I Find Calm

June 25, 2021

Let’s be honest, we don’t always have time to meditate for 30 minutes.

I find the best practice for me to feel a daily sense of calm and peace especially during this pandemic/quarantine is to remind myself to be present.

I took a Neonatal Intensive care training years ago and the instructor talked about how excited everyone got in the room at the time of delivery. She said, “take a breath and feel your feet on the floor.” I have used this a lot in my career as a doula.

There are many moments of excitement during labor and birth. Especially, when a mom is fully dilated and ready to bring her baby earthside. The room fills with energy and excitement. It’s the most exhilarating time for everyone in the room.

I also use this a lot in my day-to-day life. Whenever I feel anxious I take a moment and acknowledge what I am feeling. I talk to myself. I’ll say, ‘where are you?’ and I’ll answer ‘I am standing in the living room’. Then, I’ll tell myself “feel your feet on the ground” and I take a breath and don’t move until I feel my feet on the ground.

I ground myself and continue to breathe until I feel calm and I tell myself that I am safe. I repeat it until I believe it. I do this wherever I am and whenever I start feeling anxious, on the train, in the grocery store, walking down the street, or in the park.

We have never experienced living through a pandemic. We have to give ourselves grace. I don’t beat myself up for not eating healthy all of the time, or indulging in a lot of mindless TV, or for taking naps. These are all necessary during these times.

In what ways can you give yourself grace? Where can you find time in your day to give yourself the space to breathe and be gentle with yourself?

Here are just 3 things that I do daily that help me feel calm:

Meditate

I know you’re thinking ‘duh’ but hear me out. This isn’t always easy, especially when going to births at all hours of the day and night (this is why babies rule, they come when they want to).

Missing sleep messes with your circadian rhythm (natural body regulator). Getting back in sync can take days and if I have another birth before that happens, the process of getting back on track starts all over again.

This causes me to have bouts of insomnia. Tons of apps can help. I use the Liberate app. These are meditations led by BIPOC. There are so many meditations to choose from. They range from love to grief. Some meditations are as short as 5 minutes to 45 minutes.

Come on, who doesn’t have 5 minutes to meditate?
Liberate – Daily meditation app for the Black experience

2. EFT Tapping / Emotional Freedom Technique

This practice was referred to me by a friend and fellow doula. It’s the practice of releasing pain and distress from the body along with the meridian points (energy points).

This practice helps you to feel more balanced and grounded. I get comfortable in a seated position and tune in to what I am feeling and where I am feeling it in my body. If I am anxious and overthinking, which is always the case because I’m a Virgo, I will focus on clearing my mind and taking a few deep breaths.

I don’t try to change my thoughts or judge myself. I take my pointer finger and middle finger and begin tapping. I tap each area three times. The sequence starts at the eyebrow, side of the eye, under your eye, under your nose, chin, collarbone, and under the arm. While I tap I say a mantra. It can be anything you find soothing.

One of my favorites is: ‘I release negativity and receive positivity and peace.’

Learn how to tap here: EFT Tapping For Anxiety | Tap With Me.

3. Yoga

I find that starting my day with Yoga helps me to feel centered and balanced. It helps me release whatever tension I have in my body. It also doesn’t feel like a workout, especially in savasana/corpse pose – it’s so relaxing!